Thursday, January 15, 2015

New Year's Resolutions SUCK

Hands up if numero uno on your list of New Year's resolutions is to lose weight. Wasn't that on your list last year and the year before that? 

Day 1. You get dressed in your nicest workout clothes thinking "TODAY IS THE DAY I GET WASHBOARD ABS". You play a few songs that would pump you up. You're there. You feel it. You're in the zone.

First up, planks. 

10 seconds in - "OMG I'm actually doing it!"
20 seconds in - "Fuck! This is harder than I thought!"
30 seconds in - "Why the fuck am I doing this to myself?"
40 seconds in - "I worked hard. I deserve a donut or two... or twelve."
50 seconds in - "I'm sure if I stopped eating rice, I could skip the rest of this workout all together and still lose like 5 pounds"
(Just kidding. You didn't even reach 50 seconds!)

After less than a minute of trying, you've almost given up on your top 1 resolution and it's only day 1. How tragic.

Then you Instagram a photo of your face all sweaty but let's not pretend you weren't typing that caption with a honey glazed donut in your left hand. (I know... I know..)

The problem with New Year's resolutions is that usually they're not very specific. They're goals but they don't tell you exactly what you need to do to reach them.

Lose weight. Okay. Pretty straightforward. But how exactly do I do that? Do I stop eating rice for a few months? (As if!) Do I go to the gym every day? (Impossible!) Do I cut down on my late night fast food deliveries? (Hmm.. slightly doable.) Do I stop eating donuts? (BUT MUNCHKINS!)

It's so easy to give up on things when you don't know exactly what you should do.

I stopped writing New Year's resolutions when I was 17. That was when I realized that for the past couple of years, I've been writing the same ones. I MEAN WHAT IS THE POINT?! That was when I replaced it with a to do list - a pretty short list of specific and very random things I want to accomplish for the year like flying a kite, riding a camel or taking a long bus ride alone.

You write your New Year's resolutions down because you want to change something about yourself and  your lifestyle but I find that trying new things allows you to do just that. For the past few years, I'm proud to say I've ticked all the items off my lists and that really makes me happy!

This year, why don't you try what I do?

Replace the "Enjoy life more" on your list with "Go to a food festival, bathe in the rain with little kids, buy water guns and fill them with tequila"

Replace the "Be closer to your family" with "Throw a barbecue, adopt a dog from a shelter, learn how to bake a cake with your mom, teach your dad how to use emojis"

Replace the "Be more adventurous" with "Climb a mountain, scuba dive, ride a hot air balloon, try the adobong salagubang in Nueva Ecija"

Buy yourself some munchkins and start writing that list. I'm sure you'll find time to lose weight some day. (LOL)